I agree with cjmarlowe: Some parts of this were almost painful to read, as they struck too close to home. I think there's very few girls in the world who wouldn't be able to see something of themselves in Millicent's thoughts and insecurities.
Suddenly she felt daft that she was analysing Draco's motivation as much as she was. That was something Pansy and all the other girls in their year would do. This wasn't something that Millicent wanted to be doing; she shouldn't care why Draco Malfoy was talking to her. She ought to just treat this like it was an exchange with anyone else and not give meaning to every little thing that was said or not.
If only I could stop doing that, I'd be much better pleased with myself too!
I loved the cat most of all, I think. I know we see it in canon, but having Millicent display such affection to the animal makes her more real, more human, less of the cardboard-cut-out Slytherin.
Have to say, though, that the interaction with Draco didn't sit so well for me. If you'd swapped his and Theodore's names, it would've been more plausible, imho. At fifteen, Draco is petty, vindictive, childish and mean; I can't see that changing in just one year, so that he's able to understand Millicent and extend her a hand of friendship. He just doesn't seem the sort to bother with "fat girls" at all. If it were set in the future, maybe ... however, in suspending belief a little I could buy it, because you sold it well enough.
The whole fic, in fact, reminded me of Melvin Burgess' Doing It -- "fat girls are grateful for it"? *shudders* You really displayed just how horrid people can be, the pointlessness and pain of being bullied.
PS Did you mean to use "particularly" in "complete with spells that weren't particularly taught in Defence Against Dark Arts"? "Exactly" and "particularly" are listed as synonyms, but "exactly" does seem to fit better here. Just a thought.
no subject
Suddenly she felt daft that she was analysing Draco's motivation as much as she was. That was something Pansy and all the other girls in their year would do. This wasn't something that Millicent wanted to be doing; she shouldn't care why Draco Malfoy was talking to her. She ought to just treat this like it was an exchange with anyone else and not give meaning to every little thing that was said or not.
If only I could stop doing that, I'd be much better pleased with myself too!
I loved the cat most of all, I think. I know we see it in canon, but having Millicent display such affection to the animal makes her more real, more human, less of the cardboard-cut-out Slytherin.
Have to say, though, that the interaction with Draco didn't sit so well for me. If you'd swapped his and Theodore's names, it would've been more plausible, imho. At fifteen, Draco is petty, vindictive, childish and mean; I can't see that changing in just one year, so that he's able to understand Millicent and extend her a hand of friendship. He just doesn't seem the sort to bother with "fat girls" at all. If it were set in the future, maybe ... however, in suspending belief a little I could buy it, because you sold it well enough.
The whole fic, in fact, reminded me of Melvin Burgess' Doing It -- "fat girls are grateful for it"? *shudders* You really displayed just how horrid people can be, the pointlessness and pain of being bullied.
PS Did you mean to use "particularly" in "complete with spells that weren't particularly taught in Defence Against Dark Arts"? "Exactly" and "particularly" are listed as synonyms, but "exactly" does seem to fit better here. Just a thought.